Your ex is blocking your time with your children—canceling visits, scheduling conflicts during your custody time, or turning your kids against you. Custody interference is frustrating and harmful to everyone involved, especially the children. While suing for damages is possible in some cases, contempt of court proceedings are usually the more effective remedy.
Quick Answer
Yes, you may have legal recourse when your ex interferes with custody or visitation. The most common remedy is filing for contempt of court to enforce your existing order. In some states, you can also sue for tortious interference with parental rights to recover damages, though these cases are difficult to win. For severe interference, you may seek an emergency custody modification.
What Counts as Custody Interference?
Direct Interference
- Refusing to allow scheduled visitation
- Keeping children past the agreed return time
- Moving children without notice or permission
- Hiding children’s whereabouts
- Taking children out of state or country
Indirect Interference
- Scheduling activities that conflict with your parenting time
- Being consistently late or early for exchanges
- Blocking phone calls between you and your children
- Preventing attendance at children’s school or extracurricular events
- Speaking negatively about you to discourage visits (parental alienation)
- Making the children feel guilty for spending time with you
Your Legal Options
Option 1: Contempt of Court (Most Common)
If you have a court order that’s being violated:
What It Involves
- File a motion for contempt with the court that issued your order
- Show the other parent violated a specific provision
- The court can enforce compliance
Potential Consequences for the Violating Parent
- Fines
- Make-up parenting time
- Payment of your attorney fees
- Modification of custody arrangement
- Jail time (in serious cases)
What You’ll Need to Prove
- A valid court order exists
- The other parent knew about the order
- They willfully violated it
- You didn’t contribute to the problem
Option 2: Custody Modification
If interference is ongoing, you may seek to change the custody arrangement:
- File a motion showing material change in circumstances
- Demonstrate the modification serves children’s best interests
- Pattern of interference can support giving you more custody
Option 3: Civil Lawsuit (Tortious Interference)
In some states, you can sue for damages:
The Claim: Tortious Interference with Parental Rights
- The other parent intentionally disrupted your relationship with your children
- Their conduct was extreme and outrageous
- You suffered harm as a result
Potential Damages
- Emotional distress
- Lost relationship with children
- Costs incurred (travel, therapy, legal fees)
Important Caveat
These lawsuits are difficult to win. Courts are reluctant to award damages between parents. Contempt proceedings are usually more effective.
Option 4: Criminal Charges (Severe Cases)
In extreme situations, custody interference may be a crime:
- Custodial interference or kidnapping statutes
- Typically involves hiding children or taking them out of jurisdiction
- Report to police for investigation
- May be a misdemeanor or felony depending on circumstances
Documenting Interference
Documentation is critical for any legal action:
- Keep a log: Date, time, what happened, who was present
- Save communications: Texts, emails, voicemails
- Screenshot social media: Posts that contradict claims
- Get witness statements: Others who observed the interference
- Keep a calendar: Missed visits, late exchanges, schedule conflicts
- Document the children’s statements: Carefully, without coaching
What NOT to Do
- Don’t withhold child support: Support and custody are separate; withholding support makes YOU look bad
- Don’t violate the order yourself: Two wrongs don’t make a right
- Don’t put children in the middle: Don’t use them as messengers or interrogate them
- Don’t badmouth the other parent: It hurts your case and your children
- Don’t take matters into your own hands: Work through the court system
When Interference Involves Parental Alienation
Parental alienation—when one parent systematically turns children against the other—is a serious form of interference:
Signs of Alienation
- Children suddenly refuse to visit without legitimate reason
- They use adult language or repeat accusations they couldn’t know
- They show hostility that doesn’t match your relationship history
- They can’t give specific reasons for their rejection
Legal Response
- Document the behavior pattern
- Consider requesting a custody evaluation
- Courts take alienation seriously—it can result in custody changes
- Therapy may be ordered for the family
Frequently Asked Questions
My ex says the kids don’t want to come. Can they refuse?
Minor children generally can’t override court orders based on preference. However, older teenagers’ wishes may carry more weight. If your children genuinely don’t want to visit, consider what might be causing this—and whether the other parent is contributing to those feelings.
Can I call the police when my ex won’t hand over the kids?
You can, but police often treat custody disputes as civil matters. Bring your court order. Police may help facilitate the exchange or create a report, but they typically won’t force a handover without clear court orders and evidence of violation.
What if my ex moved away with the kids?
Depending on the circumstances, this could be custodial interference or even kidnapping. File an emergency motion with the court immediately. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) helps enforce custody orders across state lines.
Do I still have to pay child support if I’m denied visitation?
Yes. Child support and visitation are separate legal obligations. Courts don’t allow parents to withhold support as a remedy for denied visitation—and doing so will hurt your case.
How many violations before the court will act?
Even one significant violation can be grounds for contempt. However, a pattern of violations strengthens your case. Document everything, and consider whether the pattern warrants a custody modification rather than just enforcement.
When to Contact a Lawyer
Consider consulting a family law attorney if:
- Your ex repeatedly violates the custody order
- Your children are being alienated from you
- Your ex has moved or hidden the children
- You need to file for contempt or modification
- You want to understand your options
- Interference is affecting your relationship with your children
Many family law attorneys handle custody enforcement matters. Given the importance of maintaining your parent-child relationship, professional guidance can be crucial in navigating these difficult situations effectively.
